Women’s Day Special | Find your moment of laughter!©Ruchi Adlakha
Playing the Mommy Duckling is exhaustive but besides a sense of fulfilment, it comes with a unique perk. It lets you roll into moments of laughter quite often. Sometimes it is without a reason. Sometimes, it is for secret reasons like it is your picky toddler’s mealtime or he’s hurt and crying profusely. Whether it for a reason or not, I break into moments of laughter with Ved and that’s what keeps the new-mommy in me going.
This is just an anecdote of my one year of motherhood. Every mother will have a different story to share. But I feel mothers will be mothers. They have some instincts in common and some habits of resemblance.
Mothers will be mothers; comes from my recent indulgence in a painting that balanced the contrast and similarity of its elements in a beautiful fashion.
This image is just an effort to show the emotions conveyed through the painting in reference.
Imagine, two women standing side-by-side. One representing rural India. The other is an urban, modern and an independent woman. Both having starkly different personalities. At the same time, having a resemblance that binds them well to be in the same frame.
Imagine, two women brought up in contrast environments and raised with different set of influences. But the way these women held their children on their left side cradling from the hips was exactly the same. I was mesmerized. Though I couldn’t camera capture it, it has stayed in my mind in a much livelier way than what it would have meant on an Insta Live.
This made me reflect.
Decades have passed by. Women have moved to positions that are far more respectable. Women have grown unimaginably. But mothers will be mothers. They have instincts that still resemble with the past.
I later googled to learn that, there is science as to why children when held on the left side of a mother stay calm. On one hand, the heartbeat of the mother soothes the child and makes him / her calm down. On the other, when on left side, the child is closer to the mother’s brain and hence she is able to decipher the child’s needs better.
Science helps rest our curiosity. But instincts make us adapt to a new environment and explore confidently. And a mother or woman for that matter, is a perfect example of balancing science and instincts. Reason why women across strata and geographies have some resemblances.
Over the past decades, women have progressed multi-fold but mothers still follow their instincts.
Women have travelled. But wives still pace down on speed breakers.
Women have liberated. But daughters still respect boundaries.
Women have become ambitious. But sisters still give in easily to their brothers’ making fun of them.
While a woman has progressed unimaginably well on all fronts, she adapts herself gracefully to fit into each of these roles. While she juggles between these roles, she changes her definition of ambition, liberation and destination. Ironically so, that sometimes she even forgets to relish the finer things in her life. In her attempt to be a perfect daughter, sister, wife, mother or a friend for that matter, she forgets that the secret to happiness lies within her own self. The famous author Devdutt Pattanaik once quoted; a woman’s laughter makes trees burst into flowers. Such is the power of a woman’s happiness.
Let me take you through a story that my mother narrated to me in my growing up years.
While paying in the verandah of her home, a little girl was awestruck to see a peacock dancing around. She immediately dragged her mother out of the kitchen to show her the peacock. She said; ma, I haven’t seen anything more beautiful than this. I will be very happy if I see the peacock dance every day. Can we keep this peacock with us? The mother exclaimed; PeacockI In our house? But the peacock needs a lot of food that you and I don’t eat. So who will source that for the peacock? The little girl insisted; ma, please. In the meantime, the peacock said; you don’t need to feed me. I will go to the nearby forest for my food every day. This way, we all can live together. The peacock added; but, if you want to live happily, you have to dance with me. Just watching me dance will not give you happiness.
The moral of the story being; if we want to be happy, we have to let ourselves free and dance. We have to express ourselves to be happy. No peacock can dance and give happiness us happiness. A peacock derives happiness out of his expression in the form of a dance.
With this story, I shout out to all those women who miss enjoying small moments of amidst their daily chores. They work so hard to be perfect.
Sometimes, just let it be. Don’t try to be perfect.
Let us sometimes say; I couldn’t serve a hot meal to my family today but I am not guilty, because I made it with vibes that were happier.
Let there be days when we say; oops, I erred as a mother today but it is okay, because it’s only human to err.
Let there be days when we say; I couldn’t tie a rakhi to my brother this year, but it is okay, because he will be happier to see me get the trophy back home.
Let there be days when we just sit back and do nothing, it is okay because we don’t feel like today.
Let there be moments when you smile and whisper to your BFF; you know what, today I forgot to do this, but it is okay!! It is just okay to be not perfect.
Let there be days when you just let your hair down and dance without music. Let there be random moments of laughter. Sometimes for a reason. Sometimes even without a reason.
As we live in a world where women are the most important consumer and as we belong to a country that adds more women to the internet every day, we must learn to feel important ourselves. We must love thyself. We must laugh as loud as we want to. And while we are busy gathering our pieces of laughter, let certain things fall out of place.
To those who are still not convinced on the instinctive laughter ride, here the science to it. Laughter makes the person who laughs stronger; both physically and emotionally. The one who laughs feel powerful and happy. Remember Ma Durga entering the battlefield to fight mahishasur and other asuras with a great laugh.
In fact, in today’s home alone, virtual team world, we need to foster moments of laughter with our team too. In this virtual world, let our laughter be natural and spontaneous.
This women’s day, find your moment of laughter.
Laugh aloud. Spread laughter.
Because laughter is contagious.
- By Ruchi Adlakha